Life in Bali Safari Park
Okay, I’m as open minded as the next orangutan but, if you ask me, the human currently skipping around the Safari Park is a few bananas short of a bunch – if you know what I mean. Let’s face it, humans walk weird enough as it is – using only two legs instead of on going all fours. But on top of that, this maniac is doing some awkward movement that my trainer calls "skipping". For God’s sake, it’s 85 degrees outside and the humidity is off the charts. What would possess anyone to do something like this? And, what’s more, he’s making this loud grunting noise. You would think he’s being chased by a bunch of hyenas or something. On second thought, he kind of sounds like a hyena with indigestion!
The fact is that, from what my trainer tells me, humans and orangutans have 97% of the same DNA. Ah, but what a difference that 3% makes. Humans are pathetically weak, their arms are way too short and the lack of dexterity of their feet is shocking. And, to make things worse, they put coverings on their feet so they can’t practice picking things up with their toes even if they wanted to. And what is the story with how they make funny shapes with the hair on their heads?
Don’t get me wrong – I like humans in general, although some do smell fairly horrible. Of course, there are some really bad humans who still kidnap baby orangutans and try to sell them on the black market. In fact, that’s how I ended up in this Safari Park. Two of those mean people went to our rainforest in Borneo, shot my mother and, when they saw that she could no longer protect us, they chased after us. We were terrified. Once they caught us, they threw us in a crate and took us for a long ride. I don’t remember much after that but, fortunately, I was rescued and ended up in this Bali Safari Park.