Life in Bali Safari Park

Feb 16, 2011

Okay, I’m as open minded as the next orangutan but, if you ask me, the human currently skipping around the Safari Park is a few bananas short of a bunch – if you know what I mean. Let’s face it, humans walk weird enough as it is – using only two legs instead of on going all fours. But on top of that, this maniac is doing some awkward movement that my trainer calls "skipping". For God’s sake, it’s 85 degrees outside and the humidity is off the charts. What would possess anyone to do something like this? And, what’s more, he’s making this loud grunting noise. You would think he’s being chased by a bunch of hyenas or something. On second thought, he kind of sounds like a hyena with indigestion!

The fact is that, from what my trainer tells me, humans and orangutans have 97% of the same DNA. Ah, but what a difference that 3% makes. Humans are pathetically weak, their arms are way too short and the lack of dexterity of their feet is shocking. And, to make things worse, they put coverings on their feet so they can’t practice picking things up with their toes even if they wanted to. And what is the story with how they make funny shapes with the hair on their heads?

Don’t get me wrong – I like humans in general, although some do smell fairly horrible. Of course, there are some really bad humans who still kidnap baby orangutans and try to sell them on the black market. In fact, that’s how I ended up in this Safari Park. Two of those mean people went to our rainforest in Borneo, shot my mother and, when they saw that she could no longer protect us, they chased after us. We were terrified. Once they caught us, they threw us in a crate and took us for a long ride. I don’t remember much after that but, fortunately, I was rescued and ended up in this Bali Safari Park.

Joy Days in Italy

Aug 3, 2009

I get tremendous joy whenever I visit Italy, a joy that starts weeks before I embark on the plane! About a year ago, I was about to head out to the airport to pay a visit to my Italian friend Priyadarshan who lives in a beautiful city an hour north of Verona. Because I tend to get restless sitting still on long plane trips, I decided to expend a little excess energy by sneaking in a quick run. At that time, I was training to break the Guinness record for the fastest mile run while balancing a milk bottle on the head, so I decided to do my run with the milk bottle. I quickly cycled over to Jamaica High School track, but was disappointed to find the 10-foot high gates locked. Normally, I would have headed over to another track in the neighborhood, but because I had very little time, I just hopped the fence to get my run in.

I love running with a milk bottle on my head. Although it is silly, it still requires a high level of concentration. Well, after a couple of laps, along the fence at the far side of the track, I heard what sounded like a dog running alongside me! I could hear his dog tags jiggling and his loud panting. I was running alone inside a gated track, so I imagined the dog had to be running on the outside of the fence, and he had to be large since I could hear him so distinctly. Of course, because I was concentrating on the milk bottle, I couldn’t turn my head to look. On my next lap around the track, again I heard the dog but this time my curiosity got the best of me. I took the bottle off my head to investigate. I was shocked to see that the dog was actually inside the track running alongside me. And it was no large dog. No – it was a tiny dachshund!