Humility Comes in Small Bottles

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One of the real joys for me in breaking records and sharing my experiences is that hopefully it inspires others to go beyond their own capacities and travel into the realm of “self-transcendence.” Of course, any transcendence requires appropriate training. With extreme events, you’ll often hear, “Don’t try this at home.” Well, this record attempt is one of those!

There are many members of my meditation group who are medical doctors. Most of them are amused when they hear about my Guinness records, but some of my doctor-friends express genuine concern for my health and safety. One pediatrician in particular-Garima (from San Francisco) -always laughs when I tell her about my Guinness exploits, and she usually follows with, “Don’t overdo it and be careful of those knees!”

A few months ago, Garima was visiting New York when I was actively training for an unusual record-drinking the most tobasco sauce in 30 seconds. When I told her about it, I expected her usual chuckle. Instead, a worried look came over her face. I assured her that tobasco sauce drinking was harmless and that I had just recently drunk 2 bottles of the stuff with no ill effects.

The good doctor wasn’t buying it. If I wanted an eating challenge she suggested I practice for the onion or garlic eating records (although I might lose a few friends in the process!) She insisted that chugging tobasco sauce was dangerous because if the tobasco sauce went down the “wrong tube” my lungs could spasm and cause me to suffocate! She was serious and I remembered that the Guinness guidelines for the tobasco record stipulate that a qualified physician has to be present at the attempt. Now I understood why.

Seize the Day

“Carpe diem!” Or in plain English, “seize the day!” Life is short and every moment is precious. Each time I hear Horace’s immortal phrase, I am infused with energy. It is in perfect harmony with Sri Chinmoy’s philosophy: “To expedite your God-realisation-journey, you must take full advantage of every opportunity that knocks at your heart-door.” Recently, I was presented with a unique opportunity to seize the day and attempt a world record.

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I love animals and get special joy incorporating them into my record attempts. One of my all time favorites was the record for the most jumps on a pogostick in a minute. And what made it so special was that I was holding a dog with one arm during the event! When Suki, my dog partner, and I performed the record, I was concerned that she might get uncomfortable. However, Suki was fine and seemed to thrive on all the TV cameras and attention. In fact, you might say she turned out to be a media hound!

For a long time now I’ve wanted to do a record with a bird perched on my shoulder. Fast forward to the Dominican Republic where I was on vacation this past December. The local zoo brought animals to the hotel beaches so tourists could pose with them while having their photos taken. One day they brought a monkey, another day a lizard and, on yet on another day, they brought an exquisite Macaw. About an hour after seeing the large parrot, it hit me. “Carpe diem!” Here was opportunity knocking at my door! I was already training for the record for the fastest time to walk a mile while hula hooping and I could attempt the record while balancing the Macaw on my shoulder! The trained bird was accustomed to sitting on strangers’ shoulders so-why not?!

My Friend Saves the Day

It’s hard to imagine that good grooming could almost ruin a record attempt, but it actually happened to me a few days ago!

I was in the Dominican Republic on retreat with my meditation group and I decided to attempt the record for walking the fastest mile while spinning a hula hoop around the waist and simultaneously balancing a full pint milk bottle on the head. The bottle must remain balanced for the entire mile, and cannot be touched in any way to adjust it. I admit, the record is crazy, but I love it. It actually requires tremendous concentration to keep the bottle balanced, especially while bystanders are laughing at you and traffic is whirring by!

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After a few practices, I was ready to attempt the record on the road in front of my hotel. A certified surveyor measured the course and, with the witnesses and camera crew standing by, I began a practice hula-balance warm up. With the hula hoop spinning, I placed the bottle on my head and, to my surprise, within 3 steps, the bottle slid right off! “It has to be a fluke,” I thought so I tried it again but, sure enough, that thing just wouldn’t stay balanced on my head.

It just didn’t make any sense. Only 2 days earlier, I had done a quarter mile trial run. When the bottle fell off my head and hit the ground, I knew that it was because I had lost my concentration. Amazingly, the bottle didn’t break, so here I was, two days later, using the same bottle, yet no matter how much I tried, I simply could not keep the bottle balanced on my head. What was different? Suddenly, the answer dawned on me. The culprit was the hairdresser!

A Record with a Peel

About 2 months ago, I got the inspiration to break the world record for the “orange nose push mile.” The record is for pushing an orange over a distance of one mile, with your nose! I actually held this record but, since nobody had broken it in a few years, I decided to go after it myself.

Having already done this, I knew it wouldn’t be easy. “Orange nose smack” would actually be a more appropriate name! While on your hands and knees, you smack the orange with your nose as hard as you can. Then you jump up, chase after the orange, fall back to your hands and knees and repeat the process all over again. I covered a mile like this in 24 minutes and 36 seconds. Like many Guinness records, it looks silly, but it actually requires a lot of concentration, technique and fitness. And it can be painful too. During one training session, I noticed my orange was turning red. It took me a few moments to realize that the red substance on the orange was my own blood!

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Anyway, my practices were going well, so I began looking for a venue to break the record. I needed a place with a smooth floor because, the smoother the floor, the faster and longer the orange rolls. I had originally set the record at Terminal 4 at JFK airport in New York, where the tile surface was superb. I have especially fond memories of that place since Sri Chinmoy personally visited the terminal while I was attempting the record, and I recall being so happy and inspired to see my teacher. With each lap, when I passed Sri Chinmoy, I would try to be extra soulful, a task that was made humorously difficult because every time I hit the orange I involuntarily let out a loud grunt!

Anyone Need a 76-Foot, 21,000-Pound Pencil?

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Well, we did it and we had a blast! A bunch of guys from about 15 countries spent 2 weeks building the world’s largest pencil. It wasn’t easy. We had to make the pencil to scale, it had to look precisely like a normal pencil and it had to be made out of exactly the same materials. We used over 8,000 board feet of wood, 4,500 pounds of 10-inch graphite, which ran the length of the 76-foot pencil, and we even manufactured a 250-pound eraser. It took our two main carpenters a full day to sharpen the point of the pencil using a Sawzall, axes, and a grinding machine!

The pencil was designed to commemorate Sri Chinmoy’s 76th birthday. Sri Chinmoy is a highly prolific writer and artist, so we thought presenting him with a giant writing instrument would be appropriate. About 10 years ago, we built a 20-foot pencil for Sri Chinmoy, but, a few years later, the European pencil company, Faber-Castell, constructed a 64-foot pencil to erase (pardon the pun) our record. I wouldn’t have thought of getting the record back except, this past December, I happened to meet the renowned Count Faber-Castell at a vacation resort in Turkey. We became friendly and I mentioned that I had the hope of someday regaining the pencil record. He suddenly became very serious and retorted, “Impossible, you’ll never do it!” That was a challenge I just couldn’t ignore!

An Adventure at the Beardsley Zoo

The word “adventure” conjures up images of the African Serengeti or the Amazon rainforest. I am fortunate to have had my share of such adventures: pogo stick jumping in Antarctica and juggling underwater with sharks in an aquarium in Malaysia, to name a few. But adventures don’t necessarily have to be in exotic places. With the right attitude, you can have an adventure in your own backyard or, as in this case, at a nearby zoo!

I do like to find an appropriate backdrop for my record attempts. It’s part of the fun, but at the end of last year (2006) I was extremely busy with work and couldn’t spare the time to go to a faraway place. I wanted to attempt two records : the first-juggling three balls for the most number of catches while hanging upside down; and, the second-crawling the fastest mile. One of my friends suggested the Beardsley Zoo in Connecticut, which is less than two hours away from my house. I’m an animal lover, and it sounded like a lot of fun, so my friends and I piled into a car and visited the charming zoo.

I found a flat course on grass for the crawling mile, but I really got excited when I saw the tiger cage. On the outside of the cage was a post from which I could attach a bar to hang and juggle. I think the tiger liked the idea because when I approached the cage, he came to the fence and stood up on his hind legs. “Wow”, I thought, “either this guy really likes me or else he’s thinking what a tasty meal I would make!”

Of course, I still needed permission which is often not immediately forthcoming from the authorities. Fortunately, the zoo management couldn’t have been more encouraging (about the record attempts, not about the tiger eating me!) and we set up a date for the following week.